10种最搞笑的商务信函

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    编者按: 此文是网友小蛇女于2005年1月4日发布在alibaba论坛上的.编者将其发布于本网中文站上,希望在新的一年能带给大家新的感觉,新的商机…… 今天是新一年上班的第一天，总得做点儿带“新”意的活儿才对得起这特殊的日子吧．于是想来想去,决定清理电子邮箱，一来似乎累积了几个世纪的来往信函没有整理过，二来把该留的就file，该删的就delete，多少也带点“去旧迎新”的意味．于是我开始在收件箱里从头至尾一封封的看，听上去这活儿单调乏味，都是些“陈芝麻烂谷子”的事儿了，心里早没有了任何希翼和念想，可就在这不经意当中，我却发现了另一种乐趣，于是乎有了冲动将其写下，拿来与大家一同分享，正所谓“独乐乐不如众乐乐”嘛．

    以下所列，均为供就商复我之电邮，我归结为十大类型．

　　一．“简约”型：　　in before email attached ,including the xxx picture.　（看，简约至此，称谓，落款全省了．高!　但若发至的不是个人邮箱，恐怕对方也就收不到了．于是不得不连名带姓的重发一次，看来这时间也不一定真能节省下来．）

　　二．“精确”型　　Thanks for your mail. As for the copy of CE and SAA, I will fax them to you within these two days.（“within two days”? fax是及时性的动词，你是说你要花上两天的时间去传真？这样的话，我就不得不在传真机跟前不吃不喝地干等两天？拜托，如果不能确定具定传真时间，就请说 “I’ll advise you the exact fax time once confirmation”）

　　三．“大张旗鼓”型　　Per your information, you would like us to quote you the prices as below. Pls kindly check. Thanks. XXX

　　Now we would like to introduce our company to you. Our company XXX Founded in the year 1999. It's headquarters at the foot of beautiful XXX Mountain. Which called “the lung of Guang Zhou, also close to the south gate Shenzhen city” . We specialize in manufacturing all kinds of XXX. Now factories we own covering an area of XXX㎡, more than XXX workers, a most professional team consisting of technicans and sales. After 5 years hard working.our company has developed into a large corporation, integrated with XXX , manufacturing processing and trading. Since the first day of establishment. We insist in this creed “XXX” led by customers's requirement, based on quality, ruled with ISO9001:2000, following fashions. We take it as our goal to build famous brand. Products bearing “XXX”are sold all over the world , such as America, Europe, Southeast Asia and Middle East, etc. (老兄，我要求的只是你的几个产品的报价而已，您不至于把你们整个网页上的东东都COPY给我看吧？再说了，我若对你们公司一无所知的话，又怎能找你们报价？如果想我们了解多点，给我一个网址就可以了．我会找机会上去看看，但现在我有十几个email等着复，我还有一大堆的报价要整理，我的水倒好了都没有来得及喝一口，你让我现在去听你们的口号？)

　　四．自做聪明型　　Thanks for your Email. But I would like to know your customers' opinion at first. How about their target prices? （到底是你的智商有问题，还是我的智商有问题？我不知道你的其它客户是否会在你第一次报价之后就告诉你目标价，但我肯定是要让你失望的啦，因为Ｉam not as stupid as you think. ）